Whatever I write here I’ll be embarrassed by within six months. So I’ll keep it short.
I started this site in December 2009. I‘d been writing material for a standup show around Christmas and decided to document my process: telling jokes over the phone to comedian friends, like we used to back when we doing “New Talent” showcases at Caroline’s. I released six recordings, 10 minutes each, and hosted them here for anyone interested in how the final product – an eight-minute set – came about.
I don’t know where those recordings went. I didn’t like that show, and probably deleted them.
Soon I began writing new material, every morning for 30 minutes, first as just a writing exercise, then to post here on weekdays. Again, the purpose was to pull back the curtain on the process. I did something like 40 entries this way, then promised fans something special: a comedy EP of “love songs” for Valentine’s Day (crude, demented, musical character sketches). Some were popular, all got in the hands of the wrong people – parents, siblings, distant relatives. Several suggested therapy.
So I deleted everything again.
In June, another concept: personal essays. The goal was twofold. First, get over my fear of criticism by exposing my life to everyone, mainly the ugly parts. Second, master the form and fashion myself into a young, straight David Sedaris (though I’d never read him myself, I’d heard he was quite good). Between June 2010 and September 2011, I wrote twenty pieces worth keeping, now compiled in “Old Writing.”
2012-13 were lost years. All I did was rewrite my “About” section to state that the site’s true goal was to make me look bad, so when I inevitably became embroiled in a future sex or drug scandal, I could say, “I told you so.”
2014, here we go again (again (again)). No predictions this time, because I follow through with exactly half my plans and I never know which will be the good half. And when I say “the good half,” I just mean the half that exists; I don’t guarantee you’ll like it; in fact, I guarantee you won’t like a lot of it; but as a place to spend a few hours, this beats most. And it’s free, which is more than you can say for just about anything these days.